Enjoy the cavities

you must be fun at parties

thoughts on the friendzone


when i was 5 years old my best friend was a boy named kyle who didn’t know how to knock on doors so he made dinosaur noises outside my window to wake me up in the summer until i demonstrated how to ball his fists and slam them against my doors.  we collected caterpillars in my trailer park and built them houses while we traded pokemon cards.  he wasn’t the only one.  there was ben, and mitch, and noah—but kyle’s the only one who hurt me, because when he tried to kiss me and i asked him why, he told me “because you’re a girl and i’m a boy, shouldn’t we like each other?”

i missed him so much and i wondered why he couldn’t just be my friend like he always was

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when u hold the door open for a girl and she doesn’t want to suck your dick


Anonymous asked: Fuck women and the bullshit they put nice guys through. Nice guys make the best boyfriends in the world. That is all.


First of all, you sound super nice and I have no clue as to why you’re single; You’re so “Nice!”


Oh wait, I do. You think being nice is the be all and the end. That bullshit needs to stop right there. Being nice is the minimum requirement.

'This film is terrible!' "But the picture is in focus and the dialogue is audible!"

'I don't know about this car…' "It’s got four wheels and an engine!"

'What is this? It tastes disgusting!' "IT WON’T GIVE YOU FOOD POISONING! WHY ARE YOU BEING SO PICKY!"

Niceness, at the end of the day, is worth nothing. It is unexemplary, because it’s just expected. If you think adhering to a baseline of humanity makes you appealing? That is ridiculous and not very nice of you.

Stand out, find your niche. Find out what you can offer someone. Because I bet all these “dickheads and assholes” all the women you put on pedestals* go out with have something to offer them. They aren’t being passively nice in the hopes that someone will fall for them.

*Also, stop putting women on pedestals. That’s gross and problematic. Women are your equals. They aren’t fucking prizes to be won, or idols to be adored, or accessories for you arm. They are humans.

And so what if you think you would be the perfect boyfriend for her? If she doesn’t agree, fucking drop it. Respect her choices.

Nice Guys®™ suffer from the delusion that life is just a very involved Legend of Zelda of Fetch quest. You bring the girl on the date with the flowers you collected, buy the right meal and the correct wine and bring her home and *result noise* you unlocked her vagina! Which is fucking bullshit. You can’t put in niceness tokens into a machine and expect a relationship to come out at the end.

If you aren’t appealing to women, they won’t date you. No amount of baseline niceness will change that. Niceness is boring and unremarkable.  And in the case of Nice Guys®™ it’s utterly toxic.

Don’t be nice. Just be kind and have something to offer people besides that.

Also, relationships are in no way the key to unlocking a happy and successful life. Having a partner doesn’t wash away all the crap you were dealing with before. They’re just a person. Not a magic cure. Love is a four letter word, not an enchantment.


robert plant’s ice bucket challenge


your tumblr is one of those things that you want everyone to see but at the same time you never want to show it to anyone

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